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"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
* Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?...... Me neither."
* Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
* Woody Allen


"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
* Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,especially in women. High on the list is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
* Lynn Lavner


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men have the ability to fake whole relationships."
* Sharon Stone

"My mot her never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
* Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
* Barbara Bush


"Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams


"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne


"Women need a reason to have sex! Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal


"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?"
* Dustin Hoffman

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams