Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Dave returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Doreen
that
the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he
asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made
passionate love.

Six hours later, Dave went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only
have
18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Doreen agreed
and
again they made love.

Later, Dave was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight
hours of life left. He touched Doreen's shoulder and said,

"Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then
afterward
she rolled over and fell asleep.

Dave, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned
until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the
shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left!

Could we...?"

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said,

"Listen Dave, I have to get up in the morning! You don't."

Saw this recently, gave me a titter, apoligies if offends....

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful br**sts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

You bet Val, off subject slightly, have you had any communication from your travel company. It seems there has been a lot of overbooking of flights that has resulted in re-schedualing of departure times, i have been told there is a possibility that i won`t be departing till the 27th (sun) and returning on the 6th march. Not really a hassle and not confirmed but a possibility, it seems the problem may only be from Manchester...
Anyway that apart will trawl through my mail and see if i can find some jokes clean enough for this forum...

cheers

And this is a cleanish one, took some finding...

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this blouse make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this blouse make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

''How did you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your behind, didn't it?'''