Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Hat's off to any guy who tries this


>I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ

>so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

>have never figured out why men think with their head and women think

>with their heart.

>I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a

>state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

>

>FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into

>bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I

>don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!!

>What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet

>dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as

>a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

>She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for

>who I am and not what I do for

>you in the bedroom?"

>Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The

>very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

>We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed

>department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several

>different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which onemto take

>so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes

>to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

>We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond

>earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I

>was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me

>because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to

>play tennis.

>I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

>She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

>Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all

>dear, lets go to the cashier."

>I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel

>like it."

>Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

>"WHAT??!!!"

>I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

>You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to

>satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look

>like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who

>I am and not for the things I buy you?"

>

>Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly

>over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her bum.