Bulgaria Ski discussion board

English signs

Daniel Snell Author: posts : 13   (Beginner)Date : 01-25-05 13:54

English signs



"English" signs in other countries



Cocktail lounge, Norway :

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.



At the Budapest Zoo :

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUIT-ABLE FOOD,GIVE IT TO THE

GUARD ON DUTY.



Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES



Hotel, Acapulco :

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.



Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, ...


"English" signs in other countries



Cocktail lounge, Norway :

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.



At the Budapest Zoo :

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUIT-ABLE FOOD,GIVE IT TO THE

GUARD ON DUTY.



Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES



Hotel, Acapulco :

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.



Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan

COOLES AND HEATES : IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE

CONTROL YOURSELF



Car rental brochure, Tokyo :

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN TROMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY

AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.



Sign in men's rest room in Japan:

TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT



In a Nairobi restaurant :

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.



On the grounds of a private school :

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.



On a highway, Canada:

TAKE NOTICE : WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE



On a poster at Kencom :

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.



In a City restaurant :

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.



On a mental institution building :

MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.



A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer :

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS



In a maternity ward :

NO CHILDREN ALLOWED



In a cemetery :

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.



Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations :

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.



On the menu of a Swiss restaurant :

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.



In a Tokyo bar :

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.



In a Bangkok temple :

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN



Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.



Hotel brochure, Italy:

THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER

THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.



Hotel lobby, Bucharest :

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU

WILL BE UNBEARABLE.



Hotel elevator, Paris :

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.



Hotel, Yugoslavia :

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.



Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.



In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox

monastery :

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,

ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.



Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.



Supermarket, Hong Kong:

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE



>From the "Soviet Weekly" :

THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND

SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.



In an East African newspaper :

A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE

CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.



Hotel, Vienna:

IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.



A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACKFORESTCAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT

SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE

MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.



Hotel, Zurich :

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE

BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.



An advertisement by a Hong Kongdentist :

TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.



A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTER-NOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.



Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES



Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?



The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.



In a Swiss mountain inn :

SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.



Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.



On the door of a Moscow hotel room :

IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT






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YTs other half Author: posts : 13   (Beginner)Date : 01-25-05 15:50

re: English signs

excellent daniel! very very funny!
Robert TK Author:Robert TK posts : 1193   (Master)Date : 01-25-05 16:47

re: English signs

Did that list on the radio once ... my favourite was from a Japanese car hire place:

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
Dave Noski Author: posts : 13   (Beginner)Date : 01-25-05 20:00

re: English signs

Great stuff Daniel. It reminds me of a sign I saw at the golf club at the weekend which read ''please do not walk on the grass'
janet Author: posts : 13   (Beginner)Date : 01-25-05 20:31
mrs mad mike Author: posts : 13   (Beginner)Date : 01-25-05 23:20