Bulgaria Ski discussion board

A group of scientists studying Global Warming have concluded that the North Pole is inhospitable to human life and none of them want to be there.

"This place totally sucks", said Professor George Gretsky of Harvard University. "There's nothing to do, no place to go. There's no bars, no movie theaters, no cable TV. We have internet but that craps out most of the time. The summers have gotten warmer thanks to global warming but it's all slushy. There's no reason to go outside anyway."

"The amount we've learned up here is not worth freezing your ass off", said National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration scientist Mark Snezmoore. "We could just set up some machines and weather balloons and they'd do an even better job".

"Just think, we could be at Cape Cod or in the south of France right now. There's plenty of science to do there too", said Mary Norton, a post-doctoral student from Yale University.

Researchers have found themselves getting on each others nerves, constantly bickering and occasionally fist fighting. US Government psychologists have so far been unable to solve the problem.

"What do you expect?" asked Washington DC psychologist Maurice Tish. "They're at the frickin North Pole for crying out loud."

A new study has shown that the ozone layer isn't to blame for global warming trends, and scientists are looking in a new direction - at hot women.

"The human race as a whole is a lot more attractive than it used to be," states Dr. Kelvin Archburr, a climatologist at the Bethnal Green Center for Weather Patterns. "With new advances in technology, women especially are able to use clothing, makeup, and surgical techniques to change their appearance and become more visually pleasing. This causes a physiological reaction in men that raises their temperature, and more of that heat is radiated into the air, thus raising the ambient temperature."

Historical data shows that average global temperatures remained stable until the 1960s. During every decade since then, average highs have risen several degrees. Women's studies show that it was around that time that women became more liberated in their grooming habits due to sociological struggles and the availability of synthetic materials. Women who were previously thought of as homely gained the ability to dramatically change their appearance and transform themselves into irresistible sex symbols. As men experienced their own sort of sexual revolution and it became more acceptable to openly view women as sex symbols, a noticeable shift in weather patterns started to take place.

In already warm parts of the UK, the rise in day-time temperature means more outdoor activities in the sun for young women. As the summers have gotten warmer, shorts have gotten shorter and bikini's have become smaller. This translates into more time in the sun tanning, playing beach volleyball, and skinny dipping, which in turn has led to further gawking and further warming. "It's a vicious cycle," says Dr. Archburr. "It also explains why cities such as Chester, Southampton, and Peckham, which have high populations of attractive women, are experiencing a faster rate of warming, and areas such as Milton Keynes are still cold as hell."

Originally thought to be caused by a breakdown in the ozone layer, global warming is responsible for world-wide climate changes that affect weather patterns, animal habitats, and polar melting. Dr. Archburr is confident that this exciting new discovery will give the science of climatology, and good-looking women, a boost in popularity, and that in the future they will see more college students interested in this field. Says Dr. Archburr, "It's a hot topic."

Oh hurry up ski season!!!!!