Bulgaria Ski discussion board

The Pope was driving around London in a limo on one of his papal visits. He was fascinated by the amount of hustle and bustle in the city. He got it in his mind that he wanted to drive the limo...
Pope: Driver, could you please pull over? I want to drive.

Driver: O.K. your holiness...whatever you say.

So the driver pulls over and the Pope starts to drive. He got the hang of it before long, and decided to put the pedal to the metal. A few minutes later, a policeman signals the limo to pull over...

Officer: Licence and reg...(sees that it's the Pope). Oh, well....um... let me radio headquarters...um...I'll be right back.

The officer radios headquarters....

Officer: Gov'ner, I just pulled over a very important man. What should I do?

Chief: Well, how important is he? Is he an MP?

Officer: No, he's more important than that.

Chief: Is he a Royal?

Officer: Nope...more important than a Royal.

Chief: Surely he can't be more important than the Queen!

Officer: Well....

Chief: Good God!! Who did you pull over???

Officer: I dunno who he is, but he got the Pope driving him around!!!

Ally

To the horror of the locals, Satan suddenly appeared in the main street of a small town one Sunday morning. Everyone rushed indoors except for one old timer who calmly stayed on his porch reading a book. Satan was furious that this one person should not be afraid of him and went over to challenge him.
"Are you scared of me?" screamed Satan at his most menacing.

"Nope," said the old timer.

"Aren't you terrified that I'm going to wreak havoc in your nice little community?"

"Nope."

By now steam was coming out of Satan's ears. He raged "You do know who I am don't you?"

"Should do. Been married to your sister for 46 years."

Four married guys went away on a golfing weekend. On the second fairway, they began discussing the problems they'd had getting permission from their wives.
The first said: "I had no end of trouble getting away. I had to promise my wife I'd paint the whole house next weekend."

The second said: "It was no easier for me. I've had to promise my wife I'll go shopping with her next weekend."

The third said: "I know what you mean. I've promised my wife she can have a new fitted kitchen." The fourth guy said: "It was no problem for me. I just set my alarm for 5.30 this morning. When it went off, I gave my wife a nudge and said "Golf Course or intercourse?" And she said "Don't forget your sweater."