Bulgaria Ski discussion board
Just one more from the vault
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posts : 13 (Beginner)Date : 02-08-05 15:32Just one more from the vault
Some of the reasons were not suitable for this forum...
100 great reasons to be a bloke (edited version, sorry)
Again appoligies if old to some...(and possibly a little chauvinistic)
1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday Night Football.
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% ...
100 great reasons to be a bloke (edited version, sorry)
Again appoligies if old to some...(and possibly a little chauvinistic)
1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday Night Football.
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% ...
Some of the reasons were not suitable for this forum...
100 great reasons to be a bloke (edited version, sorry)
Again appoligies if old to some...(and possibly a little chauvinistic)
1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday Night Football.
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
9) Old friends don't give a dam whether you've lost or gained weight.
10) Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
12) Your bottom is never a factor in job interviews.
13) All your orgasms are real.
14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17) You understand why Stripes is funny.
1 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19) Your last name stays put.
20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22) You can kill your own food.
23) The garage is all yours.
24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25) You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.
27) You never have to clean a toilet.
2 You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32) your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack.
34) You don't have to shave below your neck.
35) None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
3 You can write your name in the snow.
39) You can get into a trivial weeing contest.
40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original colour.
41) Chocolate is just another snack.
42) You can be primeminister (In this lifetime.)
43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
44) Flowers fix everything.
45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
4 Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
51) Foreplay is optional.
52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55) You don't have to clean your flat if the meter reader's coming by.
56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
5 You don't give a rat's if nobody notices your new haircut.
59) You can quietly watch a game with your mate for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at you.
60) The world is your urinal.
61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
62) You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64) One mood, all the time
65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66) You never have to drive on to another petrol station because this one's just too shabby.
67) you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
6 You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
69) Same work...more pay!
70) Grey hair and wrinkles only add character.
71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency pant adjustment.
72) Wedding dress: £2,000; tuxedo rental: £75.
73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75) You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77) The remote control is yours and yours alone.
7 People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79) sky sports
80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
81) Stag nights kick butt over hen parties.
82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85) If you don't call your mate when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F**k it."
8 If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.
9 Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
99) Baywatch
100) There's always a game on somewhere.
Hopefully enjoy
steve c
100 great reasons to be a bloke (edited version, sorry)
Again appoligies if old to some...(and possibly a little chauvinistic)
1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) You know stuff about tanks.
4) A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase.
5) Monday Night Football.
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars. 9) Old friends don't give a dam whether you've lost or gained weight.
10) Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
12) Your bottom is never a factor in job interviews.
13) All your orgasms are real.
14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17) You understand why Stripes is funny.
1
You can go to the bathroom without a support group. 19) Your last name stays put.
20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22) You can kill your own food.
23) The garage is all yours.
24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25) You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.
27) You never have to clean a toilet.
2
You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. 29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32) your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack.
34) You don't have to shave below your neck.
35) None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
3
You can write your name in the snow. 39) You can get into a trivial weeing contest.
40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original colour.
41) Chocolate is just another snack.
42) You can be primeminister (In this lifetime.)
43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
44) Flowers fix everything.
45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
4
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. 49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
51) Foreplay is optional.
52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55) You don't have to clean your flat if the meter reader's coming by.
56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
5
You don't give a rat's if nobody notices your new haircut. 59) You can quietly watch a game with your mate for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at you.
60) The world is your urinal.
61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
62) You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64) One mood, all the time
65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66) You never have to drive on to another petrol station because this one's just too shabby.
67) you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
6
You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing. 69) Same work...more pay!
70) Grey hair and wrinkles only add character.
71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency pant adjustment.
72) Wedding dress: £2,000; tuxedo rental: £75.
73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75) You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77) The remote control is yours and yours alone.
7
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 79) sky sports
80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
81) Stag nights kick butt over hen parties.
82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85) If you don't call your mate when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F**k it."
8
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.
9
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" 99) Baywatch
100) There's always a game on somewhere.
Hopefully enjoy
steve c
re: Just one more from the vault
And women like the simple things in life.....................ie men
re: Just one more from the vault
We wouldn`t have it any other way Val (er.. i think ???)Nice one....
