Bulgaria Ski discussion board

OK Rach ..............

Here's my original one from 5 years ago......

THE WALL (By Pamporovo Pete)

They came from England, Spain and France,
To try their luck and take a chance,
To ski The Wall was the main attraction,
Avoiding rocks by the merest fraction.

Frenchie was the first to go,
Carving deep through drifting snow,
Tripped and fell while it was snowing,
The last we heard she was still going.

The Spanish guy then started out,
Oley Oley the crowd did shout,
But just like Frenchie, no skill at all,
Another victim for The Wall.

Then came the hard and gritty Brit,
Nerves of steel, couldn't give a shit,
Skied it backwards on one ski,
Not one error did we see.

The crowd all roared with sheer delight,
And praised the guy who knew no fright,
Who was this man who skied so well,
Who braved The Wall and gave it hell.

He wiped a teardrop from his eye,
Through gritted teeth came his reply,
Forget the fame, the milk, the clover,
JUST SHOW ME THE BASTARD THAT PUSHED ME OVER!!!!!!

I really saw "Braving the Wall and giving it Hell" last week -

While going over the top and picking a route across the icy top - the bloke in front of me did nothing more than pick his daughter up while sking across the top, put her on his shoulders - (Yes, I said SHOULDERS!!!!) and proceeded to ski off down the the bloody thing at a fair pace while she was screaming with delight!!!

I have never seen anything like it i tell ya - then while observing in amazement at the nutjob, i lost my edge and hurtled face down backwards towards them with me arse in the air!!! They both twitched a bit and then called me a foriegn name before skiing off into the distance!

don't think i'll ever see that again - LOL

And Of Course ........

I TOLD THEM ALL I NEEDED TIME
TO SAMPLE SOME BULGARIAN WINE
BEFORE I STARTED ON THE SLOPES
WITH ALL THE OTHER SOBER BLOKES
BUT NO, THEY ALL JUST WOULD INSIST
FOR ME TO SKI WHILST TOTALLY PISSED
HEADING DOWNWARDS AT A MIGHTY RATE
IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY HATE
BLUES AND GREENS I CAN USUALLY MANAGE
WITHOUT CAUSING MYSELF TOO MUCH DAMAGE
BUT ON THAT SAD AND FATEFUL DAY
I KNEW THAT I WOULD HAVE TO PAY
FIRST FALL CAME, WHICH MADE ME CUSS
GETTING OFF THE SKIING BUS
ON MY ASS BEFORE I KNEW IT
BUT STILL CONVINCED THAT I COULD DO IT
OFF I STAGGERED TO THE LIFT
FEELING SURE I HAD THE GIFT
TO SKI THE BLACKS AND BE A STAR
THE FINEST ON THE HILLS BY FAR
ALAS, THE DREAM WAS NOT TO BE
CAUSE ALL THE BOOZE AFFECTED ME
BEFORE THE LIFT HAD REACHED THE MIDDLE
I HAD TO HAVE A LITTLE PIDDLE
STOOD UP STRAIGHT AND STARTED PEEING
SPELT MY NAME IN YELLOW WEEING
THOUGHT THAT I WOULD NEVER STOP
BEFORE THE LIFT HAD REACHED TOP
THEN CAME THE TIME TO LEAVE THE CHAIR
EVEN THOUGH MY BUM WAS BARE
FELL AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME HARDER
LEGS THE SAME AS DOUGLAS BARDER
BUT HELP WAS FAST, SOME BOARDING RIDERS
TOOK ME FOR A DRINK AT SPIDERS
AFTER SHOCK JUST DID THE TRICK
MADE THE WALL SEEM A TINY BRICK
SO AS YOU GUESSED I LOST IT ALL
AND ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL
ASKED THE DOCTOR ON HIS FINDING
TOLD ME THAT I'D BROKE ME BINDINGS
SO NOW I'M HOME AND FEELING SILLY
THAT I HURT MY BUM AND BRUISED MY WILLY
MAYBE NEXT YEAR I'LL TRY TO LEARN
TO STAY UPRIGHT, AND COMPLETE A TURN
BUT WITH ALL THE DRINKING THAT I DO
I NEED MY VERY OWN PORTA LOO
THERE IS NO SKIER WORSE THAN ME
BUT I'M AS HAPPY AS CAN BE
FOR PAMPOROVO PETE'S THE NAME
YOU'LL SEE ME THERE, USUALLY LAME
SKIING, FALLING, HAVING FUN
UNTIL MY STAY IS OVER AND DONE
I'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER PLACE
TO PUT A SMILE UPON MY FACE
AS WIDE AS THE ONE I WEAR ALL OVER
WHEN I AM SKIING PAMPOROVO.

E N J O Y B U L G A R I A