Bulgaria Ski discussion board
Ski Training
Author:
posts : 13 (Beginner)Date : 11-30-06 07:34Ski Training
A golden oldie but worth repeating for those who have never seen it. (With thanks to Banknote for posting it on SKIDVD yesterday and making me chuckle!)
Ski Training
Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay £30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two £50 pound notes to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, ...
Ski Training
Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay £30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two £50 pound notes to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, ...
A golden oldie but worth repeating for those who have never seen it. (With thanks to Banknote for posting it on SKIDVD yesterday and making me chuckle!)
Ski Training
Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay £30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two £50 pound notes to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
4. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
5. Throw away a fifty pound note-now.
6. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
7. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
8. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
9. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
10. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying £8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line. (yeah right, not in good old BG)
11. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
12. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an articulated lorry.
13. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
14. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the toilet.
15. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
16. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!
_________________
Look, it's not steep until you need to stop OK?
Ski Training
Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay £30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two £50 pound notes to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
4. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
5. Throw away a fifty pound note-now.
6. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
7. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
8. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
9. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
10. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying £8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line. (yeah right, not in good old BG)
11. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
12. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an articulated lorry.
13. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
14. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the toilet.
15. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
16. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!
_________________
Look, it's not steep until you need to stop OK?
re: Ski Training
fantastic especially the walking across the ice part so true, although I think you need to slip on you backside at least once then attempt to pick everything while a complete stranger also helps by piling things onto you
re: Ski Training
classics. and so very, very true. and we love it.