Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Eurovision Song Contest 2005 – Guidelines to the Barwick Jury
Points may be given for the following (number of points at juror’s discretion,1-8, 10 or max of 12 in true Eurovision Stylee):-

· Song changes key (more points for more than once)
· Performer resembles stereotype of their country eg. Austrians in lederhosen, Germans in white socks and slip-on shoes (or lederhosen), Dutch in clogs
· Song is ‘traditional’ national song eg. Greeks wail a lot to balalaikas, Israelis wail á la Fiddler on the Roof, Maltese wail, period
· Bad dress sense, tight leather trousers, scary dresses, jackets with sleeves rolled up
· Excessive chest hair
· Armpit hair (more points if female)
· Acne
· Questionable gender of any performer
· Bad hair eg. Big Hair, ginger hair, mullets
· Performer resembles someone you know
· Performer resembles another famous person
· Performer is ugly enough to turn milk/stomachs
· All or any part of a song is rapped
· Nonsensical song titles (biddy-diddy-boo etc.)
· Song is sung in two or more different languages
· Solo artist has a one word name or uses Christian name only e.g. Sting, Nicole
· Any former eastern block country does a soft-rock ballad
· Singers have matching outfits (more points if outfits are shiny)
· Terry gives the song an unusually big build up
· Terry can’t pronounce the song title/performers names
· Terry comments on a performers outfit
· Terry obviously has the horn for a particular performer
· Any performer plays a fiddle (more points for being female/wearing floaty clothes/looking a bit Irish)
· German entry is an intentional piss take
· Performers wave at the audience after they’ve finished their song
· Last words of the song are actually the song title, best done if each syllable gets a big drum beat (more points if performers raise their hands aloft, flashy lights, explosions etc.)
· Song is an attempt to recreate a retro musical style eg. Rock ‘n’ roll, doo-wop, Motown (more points if performers are dressed in line with musical style eg. Teddy Boys)
· The audience are encouraged to clap in time to the song (more points if they actually do)
· Part of the chorus is sung without instruments to encourage more clapping-in-time (more points if band member claps with their hands over their heads)
· Prominent nipples
· Over energetic, unnecessary or just plain crap dancers (more points if there are three or more dancers and only one is crap)
· Deduct points from any band who are clearly way too good to be pimping themselves on Eurovision and really should know better