Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Below are the answers to all your questions on Bulgaria.

1.Are the people nice? ....No they are really nasty they hate the English/Welsh/Scots/Irish and they will mug you on sight.
2.Is it Cheap?... You pay £200 for you holiday and you expect it to be cheap? No you fool it is very, very expensive start saving.
3.Will it snow today/tomorrow/next week/ next year/next century?.. Again no chance dont bother to check to snow forcast sites it only ever snows for a day in Bulgaria so why are you going skiing there?
4. Are the ski's any good?.. Well it aint going to snow pal so who cares?
5.What money should I take?.. Money you want to take money? God this is Bulgaria you are off to. You had better take Goats cows and pigs to trade. Or the odd small child goes down well(burp).
6. What about the Mafia?...Well now this is serious stuff my friend. They will definetly try to kill you when you get there or at the very least rob you blind and leave you for dead.
7.And the Prostitutes will they bother me?.. Oh yes they approach Men Woman,children you just cant get rid of them. And they are not cheap.
8.Will I catch an STD?.. Lets hope so matey.
9.How long is the transfer?..Oh it is more like an expidition. You will be picked up by horse and cart and here your epic journey to the resort begins. If you make it past the bandits and dont die of stravtion you should reach you resort next year.
10.Is the food any good? Ha well if you can call pigs heads food then well yes it aint bad.
11.Is the beer cheap? They dont have bars in Bulgaria so no beer.
12. What are the hotels like?.. Well you could say that sleeping with cattle is fun.
13.Are the Balkan flights really so bad?.. Oh god you are not flying with them are you? Well 1in 3 crash on take off so good luck.
14.What are the shops like? Oh they are truly supurb make the Trafford Centre look crap.
15.Do I need an E111? Well you now have to pass a written exam and sit before the board at the Balkan embassy to see if they will let you in.
16. Whats the best Insurance?...Well why bother if you hurt yourself they will just leave you to die on the slopes. Anyway they have yet to dicover medicine so save you cash.
17.Thinking of going on my own is this a good idea? Well if you want to be laughed of the slopes you billy no mates then go you fool go. Makes you easier to mug/kill/rape/pillage.
18.Do I need a photo for my lift pass?.. Eh no you now need to provide a blood sample and leave a reletive as a security deposit.
19.Is it safe for kids? Well they only eat children during the winter months so you should be ok(eh ok sorry meant to say summer).
20.How long are the lessons? Listen you berk their is no snow so no lessons ok?
21. Does IMT/Lizard really have a goatee? Well yes fraid so.
22. Are Allys jokes funny? Have you seen them?
23.Does Pamporovo Pete know everthing about Bulgaria? No he does not he is a liar and fraud. He swans of every year to some poncy french place why you idiots go to Bulgaria on his advice.
24.Is Judith the new controller of the BBC? Looks like it.
25.Is Sophie silly? Well she tried to snowboard on her sledge so what do you think?
26. Are Fraser and Sara the same person? Well I think so but we cant tell from this angle.
27.Does Topper ever do any work? Nope just sunbathes all day.
28. Do the Yorkshire terriers bite? If you poke them well yes they do.
29. Is Wendy Fleet annoyed that she is not going on holiday this week. Oh no she is so over that. (Wendy stop hitting Sophie)
30. Is Daniel really bald? No no you spiteful git he has loads of hair.


ENJOY BULGARIA