Bulgaria Ski discussion board
Jokes cont.
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posts : 13 (Beginner)Date : 03-06-06 12:27Jokes cont.
Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on a
ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says," You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her ...
ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says," You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her ...
Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on a
ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says," You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money
ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says," You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money
re: Jokes cont.
A man plays his shot on a golf course and the ball hits a female player. Women is taken to the hospital and the man feels really bad about it. (That isn't the joke!!)The man phones the hospital in the evening to see how the lady is, the doctor asks "where did the ball hit her?", "Between the first and the second hole" the man replies. The doctor scolds; " Well there isn't much room to put a bandage there."
re: Jokes cont.
This guy was lonely, so he decided life would be more fun
If he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that
He wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally
Bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his
house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the
Box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to
have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, ...
If he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that
He wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally
Bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his
house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the
Box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to
have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, ...
This guy was lonely, so he decided life would be more fun
If he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that
He wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally
Bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his
house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the
Box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to
have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
To Frank's with me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered
him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How
about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and
pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting
His face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in
there!
Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:...........
"I heard you the firsttime! I'm putting my shoes on."
If he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that
He wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally
Bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his
house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the
Box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to
have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
To Frank's with me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered
him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How
about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and
pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting
His face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in
there!
Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:...........
"I heard you the firsttime! I'm putting my shoes on."
re: Jokes cont.
So does that make you a dawn patroller? Are you a TOG too?re: Jokes cont.
How dare you !! I've never been so insulted in all my life.Im a very fit young irishman. No do i do not listen to radio 2. Skiing and radio 2 what an unusual combination.
re: Jokes cont.
Don't knock it before you try it! Anyway how do you know it's radio2 if you don't listen to it?GOOD QUESTION
Nice one, i think you got him there, Good jokes though
re: Jokes cont.
Yes, you're not out of bed in time to listen to the jokes. And now that I have just found out that I am conversing with a Young fit man, you needn't cramp my style. You can do that all next week on the slopes!2 Nuns
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical
,
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, ! no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! Wh at can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course ...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical
,and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, ! no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! Wh at can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course ...
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical,
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, ! no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! Wh at can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only log ical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty say two Hail Marys!
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical
,and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, ! no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! Wh at can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only log ical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty say two Hail Marys!
FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If that is the way you want to play it then check my new name 4 sleeps and an egg buttie WOO HOO Dont want to come to work again til we get back 
