Bulgaria Ski discussion board

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting
tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off
when there's a woman not quite on the bus. The driver
sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed.
At the trial the man is sent down for murder and
seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and
the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well", says
the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes", answers the executioner. "Can I have that green
banana?" The executioner gives the man his green
banana and
waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the
executioner flips the
switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through
the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive.
The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go then?",
the man asks. "I suppose so", says the executioner,
"that's never
happened before". The man leaves and eventually gets a
job with another
bus company selling tickets. Again he rings the bell
for the driver to go when people are still getting on.
A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke
is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric
chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time
so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the
whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair.
"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can
I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says
the condemned man. The executioner sighs and
reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the
banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking
out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat
there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't
believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe it, the bloke gets his job
back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst
passengers are still getting on, this time killing
three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet
again. The executioner rigs up all United States
electricity supply to the chair, determined to get his
man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish?", asks the executioner.
"Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana
out of your packed lunch?" The executioner hands over
his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The
executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go
through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is
still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I
give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand
how you can still be alive after all that?".
He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that
green banana isn't it", he asked.
"Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad
conductor"

One deserves another.
A man walks into a pub, takes a seat at the bar and asks for a pint. The bar tender serves the pint, the man pays for the pint and downs it - in one!. He looks inside his shirt pocket, shakes his head and orders another pint.
Once again, he pays for the pint and downs it, looks inside his shirt pocket, shakes his head and orders another pint.
this carries on for some time and eventually the bar tender's curiosity gets the better of him.
"Excuse me" says the bartender "I have been serving you pints all night which you have downed and then looked into your shirt pocket before shaking your head and ordering another drink. Do you mind me asking what is in your pocket"
"Not at all" says the drinker "its a picture of my wife, when the photo becomes attractive, I have had enough and will go home".

Tommy had been a Lollipop man for years. Cut backs meant that he was being made redundant and a pedestrian crossing was being installed instead. He was devastated. all night in the pub he was crying into his beer. Everyone in the pub wondered what they could.
The next night Tommy came into the pub looking like a new man.
"Whats happened Tommy, did you get your job back" we asked.
"No even better" came his reply. "I am going to train to be an electrician"
We are not sure he will make the switch.

Mick's wife was heavily pregnant and getting cravings like you would not believe. She turned to him and said "Honey bunny pie, you know I love you but I have got cravings, I need snails and make them fresh"
Mick turned to her and said "its 10:30pm, what do you expect me to do" She says "I would not ask if I was not desperate". So Mick puts his coat on, just as he is heading out of the door, his wife says "make sure you do not go into the pub"
So off Mick goes and calls in at Snails R Us to get the snails. He is walking home and passes the pub, 10:55pm, last orders he thinks and heads inside, what harm can it do he thinks to himself, after all she sent him out.The pub has a lock in. He staggers out of the pub at 2am absolutely out of his tree. He winds his way home, gets to the front gate and trips over. The box of snails is scattered all over the path and he is flat on his face. His wife opens the door with a face like thunder. "Where have you been till now" she demands.
He motions towards the snails "come on boys, we are nearly there now"