This style of loo is used in a number of European countries. Not my favourite I must admist but I've been luck for them not to cause me any undue harm!
Just had a thought! Maybe that's why they use slidy loo paper!
Was feeling fed up until I read the above comments, lol lol lol lol
Thanks everyone for making me laugh so much - the dog is now sitting beside looking really worried that I'm laughing to myself.