Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Had these sent to me by a guy who writes and illustrates maintenance books for planes...

Very funny I think.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft
during the flight which need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing
on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot
reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual
logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots
and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is
the only major airline that has never had an accident.



(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P : Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S : Almost replaced left inside main tyre.


P : Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S : Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P : Something loose in cockpit.

S : Something tightened in cockpit.


P : Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.

S : Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P : Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S : Evidence removed.


P : DME volume unbelievably loud.

S : DME volume set to more believable level.


P : Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S : That's what they're there for.


P : Suspected crack in windshield.

S : You're right.


P : Number 3 engine missing.

S : Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P : Aircraft handles funny.

S : Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P : Target radar hums.

S : Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P : Mouse in cockpit.

S : Cat installed.


P : Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.

S : Took hammer away from midget


IMT

Very slow, i have been advised to change all printheads, reset and reload software in my pc and in the printer, have reloaded software and ordered heads..
I am really starting to think my pc hates me, has spoken to the printer and that agrees with the pc, am just waiting for the monitor to pack up !!!!
Considering throwing my coffee over the lot and standing back, that`ll teach it a lesson.....
Work is very slow at the moment, i keep ringing myself to make sure the phone is working, perhaps it is just the time of year...
Spent three hours last night changing out a pump on a power shower in one of my flats only to discover that it was the ceiling pull switch, Ahhhhhhhh

Stress level rising Ahhhhhhhh

The drinks are in the office already at the start of the meeting and are free Bottles of Stella and wine plus some soft drinks for the lightweights!!! Also plates of nibbles, crisps, nuts etc

Then some people stay on afterwards and chat and drink some more but I usually head for the station and get my usual train.

The meetings are usually quite boring but are intended to keep everyone up to speed with what is going on. They usually last an hour

Hope your day improves darling............

Val xxx