Bulgaria Ski discussion board

Some anagrams for you!!


Evangelist - Evil's agent.
Desperation - A rope ends it.
The Morse Code - Here come dots.
Mother-in-Law - Woman Hitler.
Semolina - Is no meal.
A decimal point - I'm a dot in place.
Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one.
President Clinton of the USA - To copulate, he finds interns.
Motorway Service Station - I eat coronary vomit stews.
Diego Maradona - O dear, I'm a gonad.
Tony Blair MP - I'm Tory plan B.
Dame Agatha Christie - I am a right death case.
Benson and Hedges - NHS been a godsend.
Gloria Estafan - Large fat noise.
Martina Navratilova - Variant rival to a man.
Gabriela Sabatini - Insatiable airbag.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - O my terrible drains below.

An old man stumbles into the confessional.
'Father!' he shouts. 'I'm an 81 year old man and last night I made love to two 19 year old twins!'
'Well,' the priest replies, 'are you married? Have you committed adultery?'
'No father' the old man says 'My wife passed away several years ago'
'Have you remarried, my son?' asks the priest.
'No father' the old guy replies.
'You're Catholic?' the priest asks.
'No' the aged lothario replies. 'I dont believe in religion'
'Well' says the priest 'Why on earth did you feel the need to come and tell me?'
'If you'd slept with two 19 year old twins' the old git answers, 'wouldn't you be telling everyone?

So Barry and Robin Gibb need some fresh air after spending the night seeing poor old Maurice off; they decide to take a walk through the herb garden that the hospital has laid out to help patients feel more relaxed as they recover.

Suddenly, Barry grabs Robin's arm and says "did you hear that?"

"Didn't hear anything" replies Robin, "what was it ?"

"I thought I could hear Maurice's voice" says Barry

"Oh that" Robin responds, "I heard it. But it's not Maurice......"

........It's just the Chives talkin'".

this one is especially for you guys who are travelling on the 25th Jan!

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness, and greets the patient in the first bed.

The patient replies,
"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race,
Aboon them a' you take your place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As lang's my airm."

Confused, Blair grins and moves on to the next patient. The second patient responds:
"Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
¨"Wee sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie,
Thou needna' start awa' sae hastie,
Wi' bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks,"What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?"

"No," replies the doctor. "This is the serious Burns unit."

This is a transcript of ACTUAL radio traffic between a U.S. naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10/10/95

Canadians: 'Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.'

Americans: 'Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees North to avoid collision.'

Canadians: 'Negative. You must divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.'

Americans: 'This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.'

Canadians: 'No. I say again, you must divert YOUR course.'

Americans: 'THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE CRUISERS, THREE DESTROYERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.'

Canadians: 'This is a lighthouse, Your call.'

A man goes to his doctor and says. " Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."
The doctor says "You know, 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty
dangerous for a man of your age. I will give them to you on the
condition you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you
out."
The man says "You have a deal, Doc."
Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling. The doctor
asks "What happened"?
The man answered "Nobody showed up!"